135 Christmas Captions for 2023

Whoever says you shouldn't check your phone on Christmas is just a hater. An angry elf, if you will. Yes, the holidays are about connecting IRL with friends and family, but honestly? We hold zero judgment for those who wanna check their feed on the 25th. Sure, you should try to be offline when you're around your loved ones, but it’s just plain fun to see how everyone you know is celebrating via social media. Plus, don’t you love to spread a little extra ~holiday cheer~ in the comments? Call it a modern tradition, and don’t @ me.

With all that said, we fully support you getting a little snap-happy over the holiday. Relish in the selfies! Force your family to smize together in front of the fireplace! And when it’s time to post, we’re here to help, because words are kinda our thing. Don't wanna think too hard on the perfect caption for your post of you and your pup in matching pajamas? Struggling to zero in on something witty for a great #TBT of Christmases past? We’ve got it all covered. Consider us your holiday Insta elves.

Read on for 135 Christmas captions that are just waiting to be 'grammed during the most wonderful time of the year. No thinking required (so you can spend more time drinking mulled wine).

If you’re sharing a snow-day selfie

You can find me chillin’ under the tree.
Just another thing to be grateful for this holiday season.
And on the last day of Christmas…I came through.
Santa’s cutest helper.
On the nice list, for sure.
Got ’em searching for some mistletoe.
Got that eggnog glow.
Love me some winter lighting.
Another day, another sleigh.
I’m looking dashing through the snow.
Hey Santa, this one’s for you.
Sweeter than your Christmas cookies.
Betcha wish you could put me at the top of your tree.
’Tis the SZN for shameless selfies.
Naughty or nice list? You decide. 😏
It’s me, hi, I’m the present it’s me.

If you’re showing off a festive ’fit

Reminder: I am the gift.
Sleigh me.
Blair Waldorf wishes.
’Tis the season to sparkle.
Oh, this? Santa bought it for me.
Made of 100 percent tinsel.
Prettier than your department-store-wrapped gifts.
Apparently my invite to Kris’s Christmas Eve party got lost in the mail?
A ~look~ for every occasion.
May or may not be better dressed than the tree.
Sweater SZN is officially here.
Cold as ice.

If you’re a comedian

My favorite color is Christmas lights.
I’m only a morning person on December 25.
We’re all a bunch of candy canes: sweet and slightly twisted.
I hope Rudolph eats the naughty list.
Dear Santa, is it too late now to say sorry?
Feelin’ frosty.
Happy Mariah Carey Day!
Did we ever consider that maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate?
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.
The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.
Define “nice.”
Consider this photo my Christmas card to you all.
What did one ornament say to another? “I like hanging with you.”
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
Christmas cheer? I thought you said Christmas beer…
All I want for Christmas is you food.
To-do list: Eat, drink, be merry, nap.
All I want for Christmas is a nice long nap, TBH.
Naughty list members have more fun.

If you’re a pun queen

Your presents is requested.
Make it rein.
But first, let me take an elfie.
All the jingle ladies.
No laws when you’re drinking for Mr. Claus.
I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.
Sleigh all day.
Go elf yourself.
Sleighing the game.
Resting Grinch face.
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
I’m Claus-trophobic.
Say it ain’t snow.
Elfie time.
Have your (s)elf a merry little Christmas.
Up to snow good.
Me every day: slay. Me in December: sleigh.
Is a ~silent night~ too much to ask for?
Time to get elfed up.
Dashing through merlot...

If you love quotes

“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love is actually all around.” —Love Actually
“Santa’s coming? I KNOW HIM!” —Elf
“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!” —Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
“Do you want to build a snowman?” —Frozen
“I realized that Christmas is a time to be with people you love.” —Love Actually
“Christmas isn’t just a day—it’s a frame of mind.” —Miracle on 34th Street
“Look, Charlie, let’s face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big Eastern syndicate, you know.” —A Charlie Brown Christmas
“I smell snow.” —Lorelai Gilmore
“First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.” —Elf
“Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.” —The Grinch
“It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” —Scrooged
“That’s what Christmas memories are made from. They’re not planned, they’re not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry. They just happen.” —Deck the Halls
“The Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas, he thought…doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps…means a little bit more.” —How the Grinch Stole Christmas
“Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.” —The Polar Express
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” —Elf
“It’s Christmas Eve and we are going to go celebrate being young and being alive.” —The Holiday
“I want to wake up with you on Christmas morning.” —Happiest Season
“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?” — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

If you brought your boo home for the holidays

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
We’ve got chemis-tree.
Meet me under the mistletoe.
I love you snow much.
The holly to my jolly.
It was love at frost sight.
Sweater weather is better when we’re together.
Blame it on the mistletoe.
A December to remember.
The nut to my cracker.
Some people are worth melting for.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Love the giver more than the gift.
Christmas isn’t Christmas if it’s not with you.
The best gift I could ask for.
Santa really hooked it up this year.
Already excited for that New Year’s smooch.
I’ve got my love to keep me warm.

If you’re bonding with your fam

Being related to me is their gift this year.
There’s snow place like home.
The reason for the season.
Dear Santa, we can explain…
Ho, ho, home for Christmas.
’Tis the season for matching pajamas.
VIP naughty list members.
Happy holidays from Santa’s favorite elves.
My presence is the present. You’re welcome.
Keep calm and keep the cocktails flowing.
A family like you makes the season bright.
Hey Mom, where’d ya put the eggnog?
Looks like the [fill in the blank] family was on the nice list this year.
Said I’d be home for Christmas and I meant it.
It’s not easy being Santa and Mom’s favorite.

If you’re into Christmas tunes

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.
All I want for Christmas is you.
Let it snow.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
Baby, it’s cold outside.
Hurry down the chimney tonight.
There’s no place like home for the holidays.
The feeling’s here that only comes this time of year.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
The cold never bothered me anyway (LOL, JK).
Although it’s been said, many times, many ways…

DashJ