Cock and Ball Torture Tips

So, you’re kinky. You also have a partner with a penis. You also have been trying to turn things up a notch in the bedroom for quite some time now. Well, allow me to introduce you to your new obsession: cock and ball torture, sometimes referred to as CBT (although *not* to be confused with cognitive behavioral therapy).

“It’s a sexual activity involving the application of pain to the penis and testicles for the sake of pleasure,” says sex educator Lisa Finn, brand manager at Babeland.

But as with any form of BDSM play, there are ~rules~ and precautions to keep in mind before jumping right into it. So we spoke with sexperts on what CBT is, how to play, what you’ll need to do it, and all other encompassing tips, tricks, and deets to know before pleasing your partner’s oh-so-sensitive parts.

Can you tell me more about what cock and ball torture actually is?

“CBT covers all kinds of kinky sensation and restraint play done on a penis and testicles,” says Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen, PhD. “For some, it’s the direct physical pain that turns them on. For others, the act of being humiliated is what’s hot about this kind of play,” adds Finn.

For those who enjoy practicing CBT on their partner, it could be that they fall somewhere on the spectrum of sadism, aka finding sexual pleasure from inflicting pain, discomfort, or humiliation on others, says Finn.

But, by the way, big disclaimer: Just because it’s called “torture” doesn’t mean it’s actually legitimately painful. “It’s called ‘torture’ to make it sound dramatic and scary; it’s like calling play spaces ‘dungeons in the BDSM world,’” Queen adds. If you’re not a fan of the word “torture,” it’s perfectly okay to call it “cock and ball play” instead.

How do you do it? What accessories do you need?

Some of the most common forms of CBT are genital impact play (spanking, flogging, hitting), hot wax play, urethral play (sometimes called sounding), e-stim play, genital bondage, pinching/clamping, piercing, cock cages, ball stretching, ball crushing, or any direct genital play that would be considered physically or emotionally uncomfortable out of the context of consensual and desired play, says Finn.

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If you’re interested in, say, using a cock cage, you would use it to restrict your partner’s ability to touch themselves, says Queen. “Vibrators can be used when ordering the submissive not to orgasm, ball stretchers (small cock rings) can be snapped or stretched over testicles to keep them pulled down, and impact play can be done with slappers or floggers,” she adds.

Incorporating playthings like these can be super fun, but you don’t need any special accessories. “Without gear, squeezing, spanking, and biting can fall into the range of what would be called CBT,” Queen adds. “It’s a good idea to start there just so you can gauge your partner’s reactions, see what their penis looks like when you’ve been squeezing it hard, etc.”

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What should you know before engaging in CBT?

Before any of the fun begins, you should start by discussing your roles and limits ahead of time. Everything must be consent-based and negotiated beforehand, which includes having a safe word (like “red,” “pineapple,” etc.) that will halt sex if it becomes too much or goes too far, suggests Finn. “If someone is gagged or can become nonverbal, have a system where that person can make a sound with their hands, like snapping or dropping a set of keys. With CBT, because there’s risk of injury or pain that crosses the line from pleasurable to unpleasant, ensuring there is a safe word in place is absolutely necessary.”

Also, “I’d recommend both parties be sober when you’re doing this,” Queen adds. You should stay aware and cognizant of everything happening in the moment.

Okay, any tips or tricks for safe, enjoyable CBT play?

Make sure any bondage can be easily removed or that you have tools like safety scissors on easily accessible for quick release, suggests Finn.

Go slowly at first. Then you can increase intensity and sensation gradually with communication, says Finn.

Don’t leave clamps, weights, or anything that binds or puts pressure on the genitals on for too long. (Too long being when you start to notice redness and/or bruising), says Finn.

Don’t leave your bottom in CBT unsupervised, says Finn.

“Read up about your specific kind of CBT if you’ve never tried it before. More intense play, like sounding or piercing, requires a lot of knowledge of the bottom’s body, expertise by the top, as well as risk assessment and sanitary precautions,” says Finn.

Any potential risks?

“Erections depend on blood flow, so trauma induced by unsafe CBT play could potentially result in erectile dysfunction. When you’re playing with any sort of restriction or increased pressure around the genitals, look out for warning signs, like loss of sensation, swelling, or loss of color in the skin,” says Finn.

Also, while impact play is fair game, don’t strike a penis with a hard object like a cane or the edge of a firm paddle. “It could damage the testicles or the internal structures of the penis that fill with blood to create an erection,” Queen adds.

And as for your S.O.’s boys: “Testicles can be pulled on, but not yanked, and squeezed slowly—but when the testicle-owner uses their safe word, honor it right away,” says Queen.

Once you’re all educated ready to go, feel free to play ball—errr, and cock.

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Morgan is a freelance sex and wellness writer who lives in New York and loves to travel. In addition to Cosmopolitan, she also writes for Betches, Tinder, Shape, Health, and Well+Good. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @morganmandriota.

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