In case you haven’t noticed, money and sex have a tendency to overlap in all kinds of ways. And if you’re into a little thing called FinDom, one of those ways may just involve handing large sums of money and/or control of your bank account over to a professional Dominatrix. Yep, it’s a thing, and it’s called financial domination (hence “FinDom” for short).
This kink is rooted in the transfer of money from a submissive individual to their dom. “This act signifies a profound transfer of power and control,” says psychologist Nazanin Moali, PhD, sex therapist and host of the Sexology podcast. FinDom differs from regular old gift-giving in that “the submissive often gives money or assets specifically because the dominator has demanded it,” adds Moali.
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While this kink can (and should) be practiced safely and consensually, there are some obvious risks involved, and FinDoming isn’t a service that every Dom provides. “Some Doms struggle with the moral complications [FinDom] can have around receiving money and how it may affect the submissive’s lifestyle and mental health,” says therapist Ness Cooper, resident sexologist for Je Joue. Effective FinDomming takes a lot of care and emotional labor. It isn’t for the faint of heart.
If you’re interested in FinDom and want to learn more about why people love it, the benefits of FinDoming, and, yes, the money that can be made doing this kind of sex work, look no further. We asked the pros to answer all your burning questions about financial domination.
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First of all, what is FinDom?
FinDoming is both a kink and lifestyle wherein a submissive gives a Dominant money. Within FinDom, the money is at the center of the Dom/sub exchange.
“The dynamics can vary, with some submissives offering occasional sums, while others might hand over complete access to bank accounts or even property management,” Moali says. Financial Domination can also involve giving physical gifts or services to the Dominant, as a part of a larger FinDom/sub relationship.
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This relationship doesn’t always grant the submissive access to the Dominant, either virtually or IRL. Not all submissives will receive services (which may include tasks, images, or other forms of attention) from their Dom in exchange for money being taken, says Cooper.
It may sound intense, but for people who love this kink, willingly handing over their money is low-key everything.
The FinDom/sub dynamic is usually between a female Dominatrix and a cis male client but not always. As with all kinks, different people engage with it in different ways.
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Here’s why people love it
While the reasons someone may be into FinDom will vary, Cooper says the biggest appeal for paying clients is often the excitement they experience from their own lack of control. When you’re handing your money over to a Dom, there’s a very high level of submission at play. For subs that are into FinDom, this intensity is extremely appealing.
A lot of the draw here is rooted in how our society views money. “Falling under the broad category of BDSM behaviors, FinDom emphasizes the potent societal symbolism of money,” Moali says. “As money represents power, transferring it can be erotically charged, providing a deep sense of fulfillment to the submissive.”
As with many kinks, FinDom can serve as a form of escapism in a world where we prioritize hoarding wealth. It goes directly against this norm and is, therefore, super hot.
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What are the benefits of being a FinDom?
For the Dominant party in this dynamic, the benefits of FinDom are, well, pretty straightforward: It offers a really great way to make stacks on stacks of cash. According to professional Dominatrix Eva Oh (aka: Mistress Eva), host of the #TeaKink podcast, the appeal is really that simple. “It enables my financial security and freedom,” she says.
Mistress Marley, a pro Dominatrix, agrees, saying that FinDom has afforded her a much more opulent lifestyle. “FinDom has taken my life from financially struggling to a life of leisure [and] luxury.”
You simply love to see it.
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Is it easy to be a FinDom?
The whole “Is it easy?” question comes up all the time in online sex work (and all kinds of sex work, for that matter). Think: the old “I’ll just sell feet pics on OnlyFans” thing. We need to dispel the myth that sex work of any kind is simple to do. This reductive narrative is especially strong when it comes to FinDom, with many people assuming that because there usually isn’t physical contact between providers and clients that this is a quick money-maker.
Let’s make one thing crystal clear: It isn’t easy. At all.
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In order to build a business as a sex worker, you need to build up your brand and have killer marketing. “Just like any other business, you have to build, advertise, market, create content, and be ACTIVE,” Marley says. “People that come into this thinking it’s going to be easy ususally drop out in less than a month.” You have to have passion and drive to be a successful sex worker of any kind, including one who provides financial domination services.
In fact, Oh says that managing clients who veer towards FinDom presents a unique set of challenges. “When you play with most people who are driven by being financially dominated, you often come up against personalities that are motivated by high risk stakes,” says Oh, adding that these can include short attention spans and general volatility. For the FinDom, it can be exceedingly challenging to manage the delicate balance between a client’s penchant for taking risks and their own safety.
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It’s also worth looking at the ways our capitalist society views money, which makes the idea of parting with it complex, difficult, and often rife with post-tribute regret. A FinDom has to know exactly what they’re doing in order to create a suitable dynamic for both themselves and the client. “Learning the patterns of how and when to ask for how much is a volatile art,” Oh adds.
TL;DR: Sex work is work. That is all.
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So let’s talk about money, honey
Alright, alright, we know this is what you’ve all been wondering: How much money can you actually make doing FinDom? The answer: While it varies, you can potentially make a LOT.
“How much you can get from a session depends on what [the client has] immediately available and how desperate they are to feel surrender,” says Oh.
Marley says she receives a range of “tributes,” depending on the level of involvement she has with the client. “I can receive a $100 tribute ‘just because’ or I can do a virtual/in-person humiliation session and make up to $1000 per hour.” In the last three years, she says she’s consecutively made six figures per year.
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What are the risks of FinDom?
Unfortunately, due to the deep-seated whore-phobia that continues to run rampant throughout our society, safety is always something sex workers need to consider, regardless of the services they provide.
“For FinDoms, the biggest tip is to ALWAYS VET those you will be having a session with,” Marely says. “References, background check, consultations, etc. Ensure your safety.”
As Oh noted above, due to the high-risk nature of handing your money over to a pro, FinDoms might be dealing with clients with unpredictable personalities who are prone to extremes. Oh says she prefers to work with clients who are more reliable and less prone to emotional outbursts and have the means to be engaging with this kink safely.
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“I usually prefer to engage with FinDom enthusiasts in a more stable way, where their affordability is determined early, and tributes are regular and made with devotion rather than simply horniness,” she says.
As for clients, navigating the risks of FinDom is really about engaging with this kink in a way that is both emotionally safe and safe for their budgets.
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“For clients, it’s knowing your boundaries within this kink,” says Oh. “Knowing when to stop, [and] to check in with yourself mentally.” The FinDom is also responsible for checking in on their client to ensure that their tributes are aligned with their values and bank accounts.
So yeah, FinDoming is a niche kink and the people who engage with it need to be financially responsible and aware of their boundaries. It’s totally okay if this is something you want to explore as long as you’re being mindful and realistic.
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Gigi Engle is a COSRT-registered, GSRD-accredited sex and relationships psychotherapist, sex coach, sex educator, and writer.
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