A hand job is something you might remember from summer camp, when you considered peak *~romance~* to be giving someone’s junk a manual rug burn. But more specifically, it’s using your hand to stimulate a guy’s penis until he orgasms. Or, in the case of everyone’s camp memories, until he politely finds a way to ask you to stop.
Generally a hand job refers to an act performed on a man; the female equivalent is called fingering. It’s also potentially messy! Because hand jobs can be taken all the way to completion — aka ejaculation — maybe don’t wear your nicest cashmere sweater.
Hand jobs don’t have the most romantic of associations; some men consider them to be downright uncomfortable. Cosmopolitan.com interviewed 18 men about their take on hand jobs, and TBH, the answers were mostly negative:
- "It feels like you’re touching yourself, but your hand fell asleep, and so you’re fumbling with your penis awkwardly.” —Kyle, 23
- "I dunno. It’s just ... I have hands. I can do that." —Jared, 26
But if you use lube and communicate throughout, a hand job can be a super-sexy experience for all parties involved.
How To:
If you’re going to embark on a hand job journey and leave the sticky movie theater seats of your youth behind, here’s what you need to know. “Hand jobs are really underrated,” according to Jessica Drake, a porn star, educator, and founder of the Guide to Wicked Sex. To prep for some hands-on loving, don’t go straight for the penis. Tease him a little. Run your hands up and down his thighs and lower belly first. Then start stroking the penis with a light touch, wrapping your hand around his penis, and slowing adding pressure as you move it up and down.
If you’re in the hand job for the long haul, using lube or a masturbation cream is a must to prevent chafing. (Dick chafing = bad.) Drake starts a hand job slowly with one hand, progressing to her “signature” move, which includes “moving my hand up the shaft, then turning it in a polishing motion at the top.” Drake suggests mutual masturbation if you want to really see what works for him. In other words, masturbate in front of each other and watch carefully. “It’s like a private tutorial for you on what gets him off.”
And most importantly, check in with your partner. Ask if he wants you to do anything particular or change up your stroke.
Variations:
A hand job can be one-handed or two-handed. Depending on his size and your dexterity, you can stack your hands like you’re holding a baseball bat and alternate stroking that way. Or interlace your fingers together, and move them up and down the shaft of the penis as one unit. You also may want to try cupping his balls (yes, seriously) or otherwise gently playing with them, but proceed with caution. Not all men like this. It will probably be immediately obvious one way or the other.
A note on foreskin: If the man is uncircumcised and has foreskin, don’t pull it back too far or it can hurt. “The rumor is that if a guy is uncircumcised, [the] head of the penis is much more sensitive, but I haven’t always found that to be the case,” says Drake.
Similar Terms:
Hand Jobs in Popular Culture:
Usually when hand jobs are referenced in pop culture, they’re a source of comedy. A perfect example is the hilarious viral movie trailer parody “Hand Job Cabin.” What happens when vengeful ghosts haunt a group of really good-looking young people? Ghost handys, of course!
And if you’re looking to see a rather uncomfortable over-the-pants hand job, look no further than this scene from Wedding Crashers:
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