'I’m a different human now, in the best way,’ Perrie Edwards says, as she settles into a giant velvet sofa at the end of a long day on set.

Cosmopolitan UK/Kaj Jefferies

She’s reminiscing about the last time she was on the cover of Cosmopolitan in 2020, alongside the original Little Mix line up. In the four years since, the singer has been through a cataclysmic shift. 'My life has changed completely. Obviously we went through the Covid lockdown. I became a mammy. I had a farewell tour with the band (then a trio).' And that’s before you get to her engagement to footballer Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, moving house, and launching a solo career.

‘I still feel young at heart, but I’ve matured a lot,’ she shares, between bites of a spicy tuna sandwich from Joe & the Juice. ‘Having a baby changes you completely, and going solo has as well. I’ve had to find an inner confidence to do it on my own, without the girls as a comfort blanket.'

Originally from South Shields, Edwards grew up with an older brother (she also has a younger half-sister) and two musicians for parents. After attending primary school in Weymouth, she moved back to her birth place, auditioning for The X Factor in 2011 with a cover of 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morissette. Though she didn’t make it past boot camp as a solo artist, Edwards was put into a group alongside Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jade Thirlwall and Jesy Nelson, called Rhythmix.

Of course, the world now knows them as Little Mix; the history-making foursome who became household names overnight. Edwards and her trio of bandmates were quickly thrust into the global spotlight, releasing their first album, DNA, in 2012. ‘I was 17 when we won The X Factor,’ she muses now, still wearing the pink Y2K-inspired outfit from her final photo on the shoot. ‘I was a baby. When I look back, I do feel like I missed out on that age when you first pass your driving test, or you go out partying. When I was in the band – especially when we toured America – the girls would go out clubbing and I would have to stay in the hotel, because I was a couple of years younger than them.’

Kaj Jefferies

Though Edwards insists she was never a massive party girl, the singer did enjoy her fair share of wild nights when she came out of a long-term relationship in 2015, the first time she’d been by herself in three years. ‘In the 18 months that I was single, I made up for it,’ she giggles. ‘It was a really fun time. I went out all the time, I got to live selfishly, which I’d never done, and I had a sense of freedom. I needed that year to grow, learn and explore. It really made me who I am now,’ she says.

One evening in particular stands out, when Edwards went out with bandmate Jesy Nelson, and rolled straight into an appearance on Sunday Brunch the next day: ‘Our glam could sometimes take four hours, so our call time was 4am or 5am. I remember Jesy and I were having the best night, and kept saying, “We really should be getting home now.” It was just so fun. We ended up rocking up to Sunday Brunch after a McDonald’s and we were still drunk. We were giddy and delirious.’

But it wasn’t just fun and games. In the eight years that followed their debut record, Little Mix went on to release five more studio albums, go on six tours and sell more than 50m records worldwide. No small feat for four women who were just trying to figure stuff out as they went along. ‘When I look back now, I don’t know how we did it,’ she says, with an honesty not always expected from those in the public eye. ‘We didn’t have a second to breathe. You’re just riding the wave. And then when you step away from it, you realise that probably wasn’t a normal amount of work to be doing.’

"I’ve had to learn to be my own support system"

The band’s schedule was planned two years in advance, with frequent TV appearances, photoshoots and recording sessions filling any spare days when they weren’t on tour. The first time I met Edwards was in 2016, for an interview around the lead single from the album Get Weird, as part of a constant cycle of press wanting their 10-minute chat with the group. ‘We never had time off – we had two weeks to ourselves at Christmas, max,’ she explains. ‘It got to the point where we had to demand it. We battled (with our teams) so much, saying we needed a break and couldn’t do it anymore. They would say, “But you’re really hot right now. You need to be present and be seen.” But it was getting out of hand. We were exhausting ourselves.’ It was in 2017, after releasing the album Glory Days and before LM5, that they eventually took a step back – something Edwards found surprisingly hard to handle. ‘We were bored! We were messaging each other every day, itching. It didn’t feel right to not be doing anything.’

Fast forward to 2020, everything changed for Little Mix fans when Nelson announced her departure from the band, taking to Instagram to share how being in the group was taking a toll on her mental health. Edwards, alongside Pinnock and Thirlwall, continued as a three-piece, announcing a year later in December 2021 that at the end of the Confetti tour in May 2022, they would be taking a break. ‘By then, it was the right time,’ Edwards muses. ‘We were older, two of us had had babies. We’d done it for so long. What I love about it is we did it because we love each other. We wanted to try different things and support each other in doing so.’

On where her relationship with Nelson stands now, Edwards is momentarily morose. ‘We don’t talk, and haven’t done for a long time,’ she shares matter-of-factly. ‘It’s really sad, it’s heartbreaking. But sometimes these things happen and people decide they want to part ways, and that’s absolutely fine. I would rather it went differently, but you can’t control how things go.’ Still, she looks back on the decade the band spent together as ‘the happiest time of my life. All we did was laugh together, banter together, cry together. It was so much fun. Yes we went through a lot in those 10 years, but we had each other.’

Family comes first

It wasn’t a coincidence that the band’s hiatus came around the time that Edwards’s priorities shifted: she had welcomed her son, Axel, with partner Oxlade-Chamberlain nine months earlier. And while the singer had taken him on Little Mix’s five-week farewell tour with her, she was desperate to cherish those early moments of motherhood: ‘Myself and Leigh-Anne (who welcomed twins just days before Edwards in 2021) found it really hard at first. During rehearsals, I was thinking, “Oh, my god, I’m a terrible mum.” I felt so guilty. Even though I was still living my dream, I felt horrendous. I was paranoid, thinking, “If I miss bath time, is he going to know that I’m still Mammy?” It got easier; I would do the shows each night, and then drive back to Manchester, where I was living at the time. But when the tour ended, I just wanted to be a mam.’

In other words, Edwards wanted to put Axel before anything else. ‘I wanted to live in the moment and experience all the firsts with him,’she says. ‘I loved being in the baby bubble, spending time with my family. I didn’t care (about the limelight) – the worst FOMO would be missing out on Axel. I didn’t want to come home from the studio for someone to say, “Oh, Axel said his first word.” That would kill me. It would be like, “Why am I doing that?” It wasn’t worth it for me.’

"I’m a very open person, and I always have been"

It’s clear from spending time with Edwards that she’s head over heels in love with her family unit, bringing up both her son and fiancé unprompted during our conversation. She and Oxlade-Chamberlain, 30, have been together since late 2016, with the footballer proposing in June 2022. ‘He’s just the best person I’ve ever met in my entire life,’ Edwards gushes. ‘I’m obsessed with him, and so content in my relationship. He’s so supportive, well natured and everything I’ve ever wanted. He’s also the funniest person I’ve ever met. I could cry when I talk about him, I love him so much. And then I made a mini him. Copy and paste. Sometimes I look at Axel and I’m like, “You look nothing like me!” He does speak (like a) Geordie, actually, because he’s surrounded by me, me mam and my auntie Alison, who helps out when I’m working.’

Due to Oxlade-Chamberlain’s career in football, the couple are often not living in the same place at the same time; he currently plays for the Turkish club Beşiktaş J.K., with Edwards now based in London. ‘My mam always says, “You’re normal people with abnormal jobs,”’ she says. ‘Other than lockdown, we’ve never lived together and done a normal, “You go to work, I go to work.” I’ve always had to travel back and forth from London to Manchester, and now London to Turkey. He had the opportunity to go to Turkey (for football), and I’m not going to hold him back. We’re both adults, we trust each other and have that love for each other. Of course it’s tricky, but we see it as (a decision) for our future; for our children and future children. We have a whole lifetime to be together and enjoy what we’ve worked so hard for.’

Kaj Jefferies

Also, don’t be expecting wedding bells anytime soon. ‘I look at dresses and things online,’ says Edwards, ‘but I want a bit more time to plan and enjoy it. I don’t want to do it on top of releasing an album and being a mum. I want to enjoy the process. I like being engaged.’

Despite being a very obvious ‘IT couple’, what with their status as a popstar and footballer, Edwards and Oxlade-Chamberlain have successfully avoided becoming tabloid fodder, something I’d put down to the singer’s sincerity. The pair had a conversation around what to share on social media when it came to their son Axel, with Edwards concluding, ‘I’m a very open person, and I always have been. I think sometimes the more you try to hide things, the more people want to be intrusive of your privacy. That’s happened to me in the past... people want to sniff it out more. And I felt that by hiding (Axel), the paps would be more eager to get a picture, and people would be more intrigued to see what he looks like. It’s scary, because you don’t know what the right thing to do as a parent is, but with the lifestyle that me and my partner have, we’re going to be seen out and about, in airports, at restaurants...’

This feeling of pressure around making the ‘correct’ choice is also something Edwards is aware of when it comes to balancing being a mum and wanting a successful career. ‘There are so many opinions and people who are quick to smack you down, to say, “You’re doing that wrong,”’ she says. ‘It’s really hard as a woman just to raise a child, never mind having a career as well. I’m lucky that Axel genuinely loves travelling. When I’m working abroad, he comes with me and does so many fun things. He goes to the zoo with my mam, he thinks he’s on holiday. If it was hard for him, then (the balance) would suck, but right now he’s enjoying it.’

Kaj Jefferies

Going it alone

When Axel got to the age when Edwards felt like she could dip her toe back into music (he’s three in August), she kicked off the process of creating her first solo album. ‘I went to LA for two weeks and didn’t really know what the hell I was doing,’ she shares, with that rare candidness yet again. ‘I didn’t know what sound I wanted. I’d never written [lyrics] before, and didn’t think I wanted to. But my label was like,“Why don’t you just try some writing sessions?” And I loved it. I loved being in the studio. I didn’t get anything from that trip that I’ve used on the album, as it was so early on, but by meeting songwriters and producers and experimenting, I was able to take away what I actually wanted.’

From there, Edwards dived into the recording studio built at her home (a gift from Oxlade-Chamberlain), working with Raye and cowriting with the likes of Ed Sheeran. She used her own experiences as inspiration for her new sound, sharing, ‘There are songs about Axel, there are songs about Alex and being in love. There are songs about heartbreak. Even though I’ve not been heartbroken for years, it’s nice to talk about those things... I can’t listen to one song without crying, it makes me really sad! And (a song about) a relationship with a friend that I don’t have any more. I’ve dug deep. I wrote a song about the (Little Mix) girls, which I love. It’s very sweet. There’s also a song about my anxiety.’

"When you step away from it, you realise that probably wasn’t a normal amount of work to be doing"

It’s something the singer has been open about, first sharing her experiences five years ago. ‘My anxiety is probably the worst it’s ever been,’ Edwards says now. ‘It started to consume me. It’s horrible. I try to speak out about it, because when you feel so anxious or scared of panic attacks, it makes you feel so isolated. It stops your everyday life because you try to avoid situations where you might have one, even though you can’t predict it. I have therapy and coping mechanisms. You can never get rid of it, so you have to learn to live with it.’

Edwards is also getting to grips with being a solo artist, without the comfort and security of being in the band. ‘I love singing and I love making music,’ she says. ‘I’m so proud of my album, but subconsciously, it was really scary for me. I’ve had to learn to be my own support system, to find the strength and confidence from within. I’m not a naturally confident person, even though I might seem like it.’

The launch of lead single 'Forget About Us', a bittersweet power ballad that came out in April, helped her to feel more comfortable on her own, shooting into the Top 10 in the UK’s official singles chart. ‘I felt so much better once that was out,’ she admits. ‘The lead up to it, the suspense, like, “What are people expecting from me?” was stressful. But when that came out, I could enjoy it.’ She also has her first solo performance under her belt, where she sang without backing dancers or a band. ‘It was just me onstage, and I was thinking, “Oh, shit, can I do this? Can I hold (an audience) on my own?” But once I got into it, I literally loved it. I was like, “I want to stay and do another song!” The stage is my happy place.’

Edwards and her Little Mix bandmates have all been supportive of each other’s solo projects, both on and offline: ‘We still message each other in our group chat, and that’s important to me. They were like sisters for 10 years, and I looked up to them a lot. Jade and I are on the same record label, and the release dates for my second single and her first single were meant to be on the same day. So I went straight to her to ask, “Babe, what’s the craic? This is your moment.” If I’m doing promo, it doesn’t seem right, so I’d rather go quiet – I didn’t want it to look like I was maliciously releasing a song on her debut. It’s important to me that we don’t have that kind of overlap.’

"I still feel really young at heart, but I’ve matured a lot"

As well as the ‘girls’, as Edwards refers to them throughout our chat, she also relies on friends she’s made within the industry when she needs advice. ‘I always go to Cheryl,’ she says. ‘I love her. My manager, who used to manage her, had a birthday party recently, and I was just letting rip (about things that had happened to me.) And Cheryl was like, “Yep, tell me more.” She’s just the best. And Kimberley (Walsh, also from Girls Aloud) lives near me, and I was like, “What nursery does your little boy go to? Have you started potty training him yet?” I go to her a lot for advice.’

As for what the next decade might look like, Edwards has a few ideas: ‘My dream is to be in a musical movie, like The Greatest Showman, or even a Disney voiceover. But I’m honestly just going with the flow right now. It’s all dependent on how your music does, and you don’t know what the future holds. I’m just learning as I go. But I want to do what I love and be happy.’ With two feet on the ground and an impressive back catalogue of vocals, I have a feeling it’s going to work out just fine.

Cover look: Top, Lydia Bolton. Necklace, Swarovski. Shorts, Goldsmith Vintage.

Purple dress look: Dress, Bardot. Earrings, Missoma. Necklace, Swarovski. Bracelet, Pandora. Boots, vintage Dan Post at eBay.

Photography: Kaj Jefferies, Editor in Chief: Claire Hodgson, Fashion Editor: Maddy Alford, Interview: Dusty Baxter-Wright, Art Editor: Jaime Lee, Group Entertainment Director: Lottie Lumsden, Entertainment Editor: Christobel Hastings, Hair: Aaron Carlo, Make up: Cassie Lomas at Creatives Agency, Nails: Michael Do, Fashion Assistant: Thomas Brackley.

Dusty Baxter-Wright is an award-winning journalist and the Entertainment and Lifestyle Director at Cosmopolitan, having previously worked at Sugarscape. She was named one of PPA’s 30 Under 30 for her work covering pop culture, careers, interiors and travel, and oversees the site’s Entertainment and Lifestyle strategy across print, digital and video. As a journalist for the best part of a decade, she has interviewed everyone from Louis Theroux and Channing Tatum to Margot Robbie and Ncuti Gatwa, while she has also spoken on Times Radio and BBC Radio. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram here.

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