Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our June issue, so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. Bye!
It’s late Saturday night. You and your guy are lying in bed panting. While you’re considering going another round or eating that leftover pizza in the fridge, he has a smug look on his face, staring up at the ceiling as if he’s just discovered something as major as how to shave 30 minutes off his morning commute.
You nuzzle into his shoulder, but he seems like he’s somewhere else. Just lying there in a glorious stupor with his mouth slightly agape. This, my friends, is what we call post-nut clarity.
It’s the aha moment a guy experiences right after having an orgasm, coined by Call
Her Daddy podcast hosts Alexandra Cooper and Sofia Franklyn. And it’s the reason some dudes make pretty heavy, life-changing decisions—about work, their daily routine, and yes, even you—immediately after having sex.
This sex perk is not a joke, k?
As Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a social psychologist and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, explains it, a guy may be too horny before hooking up to focus on much besides getting it in. “But once someone experiences orgasm, their thinking can become more clear,” he says.
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Having sex also releases tingly endorphins—the same chemicals responsible for that awesome mental high you get after a run or a night of actually decent sleep.
The same is true of dopamine and oxytocin, hormones that flood the body post-O and leave a happy, glowy buzz for up to 48 hours. This may be why Lehmiller says some men report that right after climax, their life feels more meaningful.
"A voice in my head just told me, 'Go for it.' It was all I needed to quit my job and start building my own finance company."More often, though, as a guy is lying in bed après sex, it’s possible his mind will go straight to whatever’s been on it lately. “For males with higher testosterone levels, their orgasm can put them into a more productive and less sexually motivated state once they’ve released tension,” says sex and relationship psychotherapist Ian Kerner, PhD.
Dudes know it’s real (and love it)
Alex, 28, credits some recent post-nut clarity for making the career jump from marketing to finance. “It was like a voice in my head just told me, ‘Go for it.’ It was all I needed to quit my job and start building my own finance company.”
Nick, 27, says he experiences a similar type of revelation whenever he’s feeling stressed. “Once I get off, I realize what I should start working on almost immediately. Post-orgasm can sometimes be the most productive time for me to accomplish things.”
For other men (and this is where the fun really starts), post-nut clarity can help them assess their feelings enough to have the DTR convo with whoever they’re sleeping with. “It normally answers right away whether we’re just going to be friends or I’m interested in a relationship,” explains Josef, 28.
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But, yeah, it’s a bit sexist
There’s potential for women to experience this phenomenon too. In fact, there’s no evidence that pins these orgasmic mental bonuses exclusively to males.
Women release the same endorphins and hormones during sex and orgasm, says Koushik Shaw, MD, a urologist at the Austin Urology Institute. The effed-up truth is that many women just aren’t climaxing often enough to regularly reap the benefits.
"The truth is that many women just aren’t climaxing often enough to regularly reap the benefits."If you haven’t already picked up on the male privilege happening on this page, consider these facts: Only 65 percent of straight women usually or always orgasm during sex, compared to 95 percent of straight men, 86 percent of lesbians, and 66 percent of bisexual women, according to research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. *Side eyes the orgasm gap.*
And for those women who do get off, the high might be more likely to make them want an immediate encore. “Women can return to the orgasm phase a lot quicker than men, who tend to need a longer recovery,” explains Dr. Shaw.
Take a T.O. though, and you could come to some pretty mind-blowing realizations of your own.
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