What is the oral sex trick?

If you haven’t yet caught wind of the Kivin method, you’re not alone. For an oral sex hack that’s apparently ground-breaking, it’s still pretty underground. That’s all pretty odd, especially when you consider that the Kivin method can – supposedly! – make a woman or someone with a vagina orgasm in just three minutes via cunnilingus.

I know, I know, it’s hard not to be sceptical. Certainly because when you first get to grips with how to eat someone out, it can be a bit intimidating. After all, every vulva and body are different and respond to different stimulation (or none at all!).

Then there’s the pressure: putting a time limit on your climax isn’t really a great plan if you want to feel chilled, in the moment, and, ultimately, cum. Any one-size-fits-all approach to sex is going to have us raising an eyebrow right from the beginning. With sex, there shouldn’t be any one-size-fits-all advice.

According to Reddit (where we get all our sex advice, duh!), the Kivin method may be a lesser-known alternative oral sex technique, but it’s one we all really need to be trying ASAP. One user wrote: “I’ve always enjoyed performing oral sex on my partners, often with ‘good’ results, but with my wife my usual techniques almost never bring her completely to orgasm. She gets very close, but I could barely ever get her there. It’s good foreplay, but sometimes I just want to focus on her and give her an orgasm that’s all about her. So, recently I decided to look for other ideas and kept finding mentions of the Kivin method. Some describe it as ‘guaranteed to work’ and say it gets most [people] to orgasm within a few minutes, but all get there within 10 minutes.”

Hmm, sounds dubious right? So, we spoke to Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship expert and author of The Matchmaker’s Match, to figure out if this method is the real deal.

close up of intimate loving couple lying together in bed, backlit by morning sun from the window

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What is the Kivin method?

“The Kivin method is an exciting way of performing oral sex,” says Knight. “There have been some pretty bold claims about its effectiveness – an orgasm in three minutes and 60% of women and people with vaginas experiencing faster and more intense orgasms, according to one sex therapist. It’s worth trying it just to see if those claims are true.”

How does the Kivin method work?

“Rather than coming in from between the legs, the giver comes in from the side,” she continues. “They need to place the index finger and thumb either side of the clitoris to raise and steady it, and then instead of licking up and down the vulva, you are going from side to side – straight across the clitoral hood. This helps to stimulate a wider area of the clitoris than conventional methods usually used.”

Kivin method positioning

As Knight points out, this does present challenges in positioning. “It is best to approach over the thighs rather than underneath. With the left hand, the giver also needs to place the middle finger on the perineum (the area between the vagina and the anus) to feel for muscle contractions. As you feel your partner nearing orgasm, begin to concentrate on the head of the clitoris with the tongue.”

So, the theory is that you’re trying three new variations: side-on approach, hand position, and licking across the the clitoral hood.

What does the Kivin method really feel like?

One Reddit user tried it out with his wife, and he says: “The other hand is supposed to feel for muscle contractions at, and apply light pressure to, the perineum. My wife found that unpleasant, but I soon found that gently pressing my finger against her anal sphincter worked really well.”

“The key is to keep the pace and pressure consistent”

“The key is to keep the pace and pressure consistent (which is probably true of oral sex in general for most people). After a little awkwardness feeling out the right positioning for me and for her leg, as well as working out what to do with my hands, she was soon responding very positively. She came within about five minutes of me finding the rhythm and best hand position. This was definitely a big change – I often go 15-20 minutes and have her teetering on the edge without managing to get her to come.”

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Don’t think of the Kivin method as a guaranteed orgasm, though

Knight adds: “I am naturally wary of any new sex technique promising three-minute orgasms. But what is exciting about Kivin is that it encourages experimentation and stimulation of alternative erogenous zone. My advice is to give it a try – it may well work for you – but if it doesn’t, it will still take you to exciting new places as a couple.”

And remember: orgasms shouldn’t always be the end goal of sex. The pressure to have an orgasm or make someone else orgasm (especially within three minutes) can lead to performance anxiety and may stop you from enjoying it altogether. So, while it can be fun to try, make sure you’re doing it in good spirits.

What real people say about the Kivin method

Don’t just take our word for it: listen to the people of Reddit! Here, they open up about why they love the Kivin method.

1.“Everyone’s different, but, as a woman, I can totally attest to this method! Up and down is actually sometimes a little painful for me as I’m very sensitive, but side to side feels amazing!” [via]

2.“In the usual position of being between a woman’s legs, the side to side tongue motion is actually great for people who have trouble performing oral for a long time. The up and down licking motion is very straining on the muscles in your face and neck, but side to side is much easier to maintain for extended periods of time. And some women like it more!” [via]

3. “Doing it from the side makes so much sense, for both parties. For me, it feels way better when my husband turns his head sideways instead of going up and down. It more accurately mimics the movement I would make with my hand if I were masturbating. And I imagine it’s a lot easier on his tongue.” [via]

4. “One partner did this, and I basically feel in love with the idiot.” [via]

5. “I had good communication with my partner when I was learning to do it, and quickly figured out that side to side works better. Now it feels much more natural and I can keep it going for much longer than up and down motion, only switching to add some variety and rest.” [via]

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